why can't i?
Ever seen that bank advert "why can't I... live my dreams?". It's lame. Firstly, if one could actually live out their dreams, they wouldn't be called dreams anymore, would they? Just goals, targets, aims, ACHEIVABLE objectives. Dreams are supposed to be made in LaLaLand and are meant to stay there. They are what we live our lives for. Imagine: if one day, you really realise your dream (assuming you only have one, assuming you're not a fickle-minded person), what next? How do you proceed from then on. A life like this, nothing left for you to live for, is not worth continuing with. Which brings me to my next point, "so what if you could?''
Of course it'll be cool to live a dream, everyone wants that. But wake up! That means you'd be the next permanent resident of LaLaLand.. And i guess you'll be a zombie. No motivation, no drive, just an empty husk living for the sake of staying alive. No point living on eh? even though you've acheived what you dreamed of...
To admit, motivation spawns from desire. Desire to succeed, to overpower, to destroy, to devour, to ... ... ... love? Dreams inclusive. If you have nothing to die for, what's there to do staying alive? Not that i advocate death, c'mon, i'm not the death merchant (though i feel as if i sound progressively like one) but is living (happiness, fufilment aside) all there is to life?
nite o cruel world, the moon suspends like a blind grin in the obsidian sky, oblivious, indifferent to the ebbing tears of the broken, still beating heart. Hate is but a feeling disconnected...
remember [10:51 PM]
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Short Skirts?
today's 28 july... that's means my birthday's over by more than a week. Whew, finally safe. Well, as of celebrations.. Those who deserve to know already do, those who don't know don't have to.
H3 is boring. Someone please save me.. Then again, i wouldn't really know, would i? Since i was sleeping for the first half of the first lecture, waking to a teacher who couldn't speak to us students without closing his eyes. Are we that that intimidating? Or is it that he has a severe case of stage fright? The powerpoint was, at that moment, full of complicated looking molecules. I guess that's when i lost consciousness. Came to when it was time to go home, rather opportune if you ask me. No pain, no gain.
Today ended at 1025. School, i mean. Skipped maths tutorial to carry out experiments. Fair trade off if you ask me. It's not everyday you get to "forgo" important sessions drilling you in the basics of logic ( Functions?? I had enough of it...) and turn milk into glue. I had to improvise a little though, the S&T did not have ethanoic acid, had to make do with watered down 1M HCl. Luckily i lost patience and added excess ( REALLY excess) undiluted acid, after 15 minutes of heat and no reaction ( visible ones, at least), or God knows when the milk's going to curdle. Didn't have to wait anymore after that. Almost immediate reaction. Praise my ingenuity and kinetics of reaction, lambaste my impatience.
And, what's wrong with short skirts? Better having girls with 'mini-skirts' than a bunch wearing damn long skirt/dress and belts right? They're like the beacon signalling that one's in a college and is still sane..
I'm not supposed to blog about that i think ...;X
remember [8:51 PM]
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sick and tired...
ah damn! we lost the match...
nearly had lunch with RJ players after that. Went to Junction 8, then separated. Too many patrons, too little space. But there'll be a friendly match soon. Still planning. Hope it's soon, promos ain't too far off...
The new definition to sick and tired... when you're down with flu and too tired to even think about standing... Hell, how am i supposed to concentrate in lectures when half the time (half? more like all) i somewhere between here and LaLaLand. But it's interesting how much one can absorb in that state. Like being able to take in the lecture with minimal concentration... better than stoning...
A simple prove of "what's meant to be is meant to be"... using a frisbee. Fri, frisbee flew into canal. Fortunately, some crab fisher had an extremely unlucky net, no catch (*hint hint*), while the rest were brimming. Agreed to lend us crab net. Manage to fish (crab?) the disc out. Then comes Tues. Strong breeze, almost blew my shirt off. Frisbee flew into canal, again. This time, no uncle crabby... Concidence?
Still can't pass NAPFA... Ever dreamt of jumping further? Running faster? Dream on...
and stop posting ridiculous comments bastards/bitches
remember [6:33 PM]
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frisbee... again
Never in history have i been training so much for frisbee... mon, tues and thurs. In case you're still wondering, wandering in you're mind, the competition is this sat. Team match-up out today. Though she said we could "reflect any violent objections at her" ( with me asking for a mirror...
-_-'''...) nobody did. But it was pretty obvious that the teams weren't that equally matched, as promised.
Made a blunder, telling Rachel that today's session not important. Haha, even encouraged her to go out, full well knowing that she's not studied for tomorrow's Bio test on DNA... I'm becoming a bad influence.. Hope i'll be forgiven IF she screws up. Then again, she's not Z****** (your name, i'll protect. Your habits, i'll expose) , so may have a lower probability of being blamed for trivial things...
till sat, so long then. Out
remember [9:54 PM]
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frisbee clinic
Man, the stupidity of one's own actions astounds even himself sometimes. Yes, talking about myself. As always. I can't believe i woke up at 5+ a.m. just to get to Bishan, for some frisbee clinic ( why clinic? I'm not sick. At least, not physically). And get the living daylights scared the hell out of me looking at the standard of our to-be competitors. Not to mention 3 hits to my nose. It ain't that big, i wonder why it presents itself as such an alluring target. You remember this RJ, this little guy here has a huge personal grudge against your whole school. Now i know who to injure "unintentionally" next week.
i guess no one expected a few short games to be tiring. This reflects badly on our stamina and speed of play. In terms of fitness, we may never win them. But hey, the rabbit didn't win the race. It is not impossible ( i'm being a little hopeful here, rather OOC) to beat them. Improbable, maybe, impossible, no way. My nose hurts, subsiding, but still hurts. Not as much as my pride. Till, i exact my revenge, i'm not letting up. With no one around to kiss my injury better, i guess that'll be the only way to soothe it.
I know it's gonna be
bombastic love so fantastic
where i'm completely yours
and you are mine...
remember [8:16 PM]
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the aftermath of Mid-years
Aftermath...
ok. World Cup is over. Split milk is better off in the bin. I'm not upset that Italy won. Just that there could have been a bit more action. Just that one bit more would have been like a 100% increase in utility. I admit, I slept after half-time, waking up when the offside happened. That's kind of sad, but that's all for the match. Well, except for the headbutt. THE headbutt. Zidane is currently my favourite melee idol. They should make him a DOTA hero or something like that. You know, immortalize him. Too bad he's muslim.
As for mid-years... let's just say that i'm not who i used to be. Oh well, at least the teachers don't finish marking the econs paper and GP so soon. I guess this would go down in history as the first time i appreciate teachers for their tardiness. A few more days... a few more days...
I am beginning to realize what a bad idea it was to stay up to watch the finals. Having not slept since Portugal vs Germany until half-time ( that's more than 24 hrs...), I still bravely (foolishly, now that i think of it) played all out, mostly, during PE on Mon (Mr Seet is the new teacher, makes sense that we are learning floorball). Man, i had stomach cramps after that. Maybe because i skipped lunch too, too lazy to eat. I can't believe it, could you? I mean, stomach cramps, I thought they only afflict the fairer sex when they, uhm, "cycle". I can't say I don't "cycle" though, been quite horny lately. But wait, that's just a state of mind. Not a physical sign that i may not be what i think i am. I blame it on the green tea. How else do the Japs get so many dirty ideas for their manga anyway?
Burnout isn't an excuse for not doing tutorials and PW right?
And just when i thought the Third World War aptly named 'VJC Mid-year Examinations' were over. Ghandi once said " War is not about who's right, it's about who's left" Sounds corny ya think? Think again. I'm glad i'm not one of the endless casualties of this war, but i guess i've been killed nonetheless, by myself. My attitude, specifically. AP, as laymen would call it. Attitude problem, not assistant professor, arithmetic progression or amatuer porn. Guess i must really stop avoiding confrontations with the new enemy, homework.
As I rally my allies ( Red Bull, MP3 player, Shocker unit) against this insidious foe, my conscience is nipping me. Conscience, by the way, is that small voice which always says "no". Is this, the supposed opposition to freedom, something which would pull me through promos? Friend or foe? I wonder...
Anyway, as a victorian, i shall honour my promises. I promised myself that if i couldn't start a relationship before the midyear, i'll give up. Totally. Arrrgh!!! That means i'll still be a virgin when i leave this college. Hope i don't die one. I don't want to be right, i want to be left... alive, long enough. maybe it's this kinky state of existence that's prompting me to consider such things, but really, who , assuming he can think for himself, would want to leave this world without first tasting that forbidden fruit? And not just once.
It's not that i'm afraid, just that when i sit near you, blood rushes from my head to other extremities... and i can't think straight.
-rray
remember [7:52 PM]
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Never say die
Mid-years finally over...
remember [10:42 PM]
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